Heart O' Mine
by Yami's Tenshi
Summary: dedicated to Lily-chan After Yami loses his hope, can anything bring him back? song-fic


Heart O' Mine  
  
Rating: PG13 (some deep thoughts, but nothing too bad)  
  
Genre: Angst/ Drama  
  
Tenshi :-_-zzz *is sleeping cause she's so tired of school*  
  
Kerra: Hi everybody. As you can see, high school is really starting to get to Tenshi. *looks at her hikari and snaps her fingers* Yo Tenshi! Wake up!  
  
Tenshi: *wakes up* -_- Wha? What'd I miss?  
  
Kerra: *sigh* You're in the middle of a fanfic, remember?  
  
Tenshi: *blinks* Uh? Oh. Yeah. *yawns then stretches* Sorry about that folk, but like I've been saying, this school stuff is exhausting. *yawns again*  
  
Yugi: *walks over* Poor Tenshi.  
  
Tenshi: Yeah, well, I'm okay. *shakes her head* Anyway, back to the fanfic, I got this idea for a fanfic during school and I've been wanting to write it for awhile now. You see, I got the Evanescence C.D (Yay! ^^) and I started listening to their songs. When I heard 'My Immortal' I knew I had to turn it into a songfic. What bothers me is that this is songfic has been done before and so has this style. (I like to be original) But, I really wanted to write it so here goes nothing.  
  
Kerra: *looks at Tenshi suspiciously* Wait a minute. You're not trying to skip out on your math homework again, are you?  
  
Tenshi: *looks EXTREMELY innocent* Who, me?  
  
Yugi: *sigh* Tenshi.  
  
Tenshi: ^_^ Yeah, I know, I'm awful. Anyway, guys, just to let you know, many of you will want to kill me (I think) about the middle of this fanfic. PLEASE READ TO THE END! If you've read the entire thing and you still want to hurt me, then you're welcome to try. ^^" But, I hope that it doesn't come to that.  
  
Kerra: Can we just get to the song-fic?  
  
Tenshi: Uh? Oh. Right! Yugi, we need the disclaimer!  
  
Yugi: *nods* Right. Disclaimer: Yami's Tenshi does not own Yugioh! or any of its characters. They are copyright of Kazuki Takahashi. Also, the song 'My Immortal' does not belong to Tenshi. It is sung by Evanescence, which is a group, and she isn't too sure who wrote it. Just don't sue, please. Thank you.  
  
Tenshi: ^^ Well I think that's about it! Enjoy the fanfic, folks!  
  
Dedication: Okay, I want to dedicate this to Lily Maxwell, Dark Angel (AKA Lily-chan). I consider her to be one of the best authoresses ever. If anyone has read any of my previous work, you'd notice that I refer to her sometimes. Anyway, she's my inspiration for Yugi and Yami scenes and she's my really good friend. Not only is she a great person to know, but she's a great authoress to! If anyone is a big fan of shonen-ai, then you should check out her stories. She's really good at it. *bows down to Lily-chan's supremacy* This is for you Lily-chan! ^^  
  
Heart O' Mine: songfic to 'My Immortal'  
  
*//Let us not grieve for those who have moved on into Peace. There is much mourning to be done for those left behind.//*  
  
There had been many things that Yami had wanted through out his life. Small, petty things that had caught his fancy. Of course, everything seemed petty now.  
  
Now what Yami wanted more than anything was to wake up and know this to be a nightmare.  
  
In the beginning, he had denied everything. Then, as time passed, his heart had wept as he accepted that it had happened but still there had been hope. But he was numb now. His heart had bitterly admitted that things were not going to get better and the only way he was going to rid himself of these wounds that plagued his soul was simply to let go.  
  
So the spirit gave up his hope.  
  
Now he was tired. Tired of waking up each morning and remembering how much hope a new day used to bring. Tired of his heart clutching to something that remained a dream. Tired of hoping, living, dreaming. But most of all he was tired of waking and knowing that, though everything had changed, time hadn't the nerve to move on and now he was stuck.  
  
To add to his problems, he hated his mind for reminding him of all those fears that he had thought had vanished with his childhood and then with his rebirth. For now he was lonely and the memory of friendship just made the gash of pain sting. It was like being lost in the desert for countless years and then finding water. Soon, you've drunk the water up. Except this time, your thirst is heightened for you had tasted and flourished in the water.  
  
Yami had already gone through so much pain and he wished that it would now just go away. If things were to change, then change. If pain was to come, then let him cry in agony. If the person that he cared about more than words could tell was to leave, then he should just leave.  
  
For remembering His presence still made Yami's heart throb and his eyes moist. He had already cried enough tears and had felt enough pain. Why wouldn't it just leave him be?  
  
~I'm so tired of being here  
  
Suppressed by all my childish fears  
  
And if you have to leave  
  
I wish that you would just leave  
  
Because you're presence still lingers here  
  
And it won't leave me alone~  
  
Lying on his bed, Yami felt his mind pulling itself farther and farther from reality. For what was real was just to bitter and unjustified for the weathered spirit. Yet how well he could remember that day!  
  
Grandpa and Yami had been staying home that day, while Yugi had been out with friends. Oh, how the spirit regretted that now! For then the phone rang and from then on, the pharaoh would know the true pain of loneliness.  
  
A coma! Yami had growled at such a thought. Someone had dared to do damage to his hikari (though everyone murmured at what a tragic 'accident' it had been) and now his aibou was in a coma. What was worse was that he was expected to wake up!  
  
Oh, how his heart had ached when he had seen his little, sweet hikari on that white hospital bed. He had been the last to enter the room for all of Yugi's friends (including Kaiba, believe it or not) had stormed into the room as soon as the words of permission had escaped the doctor's mouth. Technically, he hadn't even entered the room for he had stopped shock still in the doorway. Pain pierced his heart more than any knife ever could and despair rushed through his veins and tears sprang to his eyes. The only thing Yami could vaguely remember was seeing his friends' horrified expressions as he bolted out the door and out of the hospital.  
  
Many, many months passed and still Yugi did not wake. Nor did he stir at the begging whispers and cries of his friends nor his grandfather's tear drops. Joey, who came second only to Yami in his grief, had raged and roared so that he was heard through out the hospital and made every being flinch in the howling sorrow. Still, not so much as a twitch came from the innocent, serene boy. The doctor finally took Grandpa aside and whispered something to the old man that made him moan and fall to his knees. Yugi was not going to wake up. They all had to face that. So, three days from now, Grandpa would make the hardest decision of his mortal life.  
  
He had to let Yugi die.  
  
There was pain. It was more real, more excruciating than anything Yami could've imagined. As time passed, the stabs and sores from loneliness, bitterness, and denial had numbed into a dull ache that the spirit knew would never quite leave him unless Yugi came back to him. And that wasn't going to happen.  
  
~ These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just too real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase~  
  
Unwanted and bitter, memories of Yugi came rushing by to the grieving spirit. He had instantly developed a liking for the innocent boy and with that fondness came an unparalleled protectiveness. During times when life had proven to be cold and unkind. Yami would hold the boy in a brotherly embrace and wiped away Yugi's tears. Then, when enemies had dared to harm his hikari, Yami had unleashed a wrath that was matched only by that of a demon's. For as long as Yami cared to remember, he had always been by Yugi's side, guiding and being guided by the boy, and the spirit, sure that there was no place he would rather be, had promised faithfully to always be there.  
  
Oh how promises come back to haunt the present!  
  
Yet, no matter that Yami had given up all hope of being reunited with Yugi, he knew that the boy's tender, fragile hands still held his heart and soul. It could bare to be no place else.  
  
~ When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me~  
  
Yugi was the most innocent, kind, and gentle thing. There were times when he had not even seemed mortal. More like an ageless, immortal being. More like an angel. His hikari's innocence and light had astounded Yami and now he felt trapped by the impact that the boy had left on his heart. It reminded Yami of this story he had once heard about a wolf and a boy.  
  
A wolf had once found himself caught in a trap and couldn't free itself. Utterly depressed, the wolf resigned itself to death. But then a human boy, a young child, came upon him. Though frightened, the child gathered his courage and comforted the wolf. Though too weak to remove the wolf from the human trap, the boy had cared for and about the wolf. As days passed, the wolf grew fond of the boy and soon looked forward to the daily visits. But then, one cold night, when the boy had come to the wolf as always. However, two wolves, hungered by the long winter, had come upon them. They instantly set themselves upon the boy and the trapped wolf, helpless, watched in horror as the boy he had grown to love was killed. Still the hunger raged inside the other wolves' bellies. His mind clouded with grief, the wolf howled his grief into the world and was soon dead.  
  
Yugi had been horrified at such a story, but Yami couldn't help but see how it fit into his own life.  
  
After the news that Yugi was to be released unto death, Yami's dreams had been haunted. Yugi's face, smiling as always, kept showing up and beckoning to him. The spirit wanted nothing more than to follow the boy forever and into eternity. Soon, Yami began to hear the innocent's voice as well. Slowly, the spirit was losing his grasp on his sanity. But something always held Yami back from following Yugi. Something that he couldn't quite give a name too.  
  
~ You used to captivate me  
  
By your resonating light  
  
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind  
  
Your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams  
  
Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me~  
  
Now Yami had given up one everything. After all, what purpose does half a soul have when the other half leaves? The once majestic spirit became nothing but a dark void. Yet he did not want to escape. He had given up his hope.  
  
~ These wounds won't seem to heal  
  
This pain is just to real  
  
There's just too much that time cannot erase~  
  
Staring up at the ceiling, Yami wondered where he had gone wrong. He had been a good yami and he had only messed up occasionally. The spirit just couldn't understand.  
  
Even Yugi's friends couldn't bring Yami out of his depression. Tristan seemed more moody and distant, but Yami could see that the very sight of Serenity brought back some light in the teenager's eyes. Tea had been heartbroken and had come very close to comforting Yami, but Seto had always been there to lend a shoulder to cry on. Bakura (who still hadn't gotten along with the pharaoh, but had liked Yugi well enough for putting up with him) hadn't been much help, which wasn't that much of a surprise. Ryou he couldn't even bare to look at for he reminded him too much of Yugi with his radiating innocence. Joey was acting exactly like Yami, dark and mournful, but even he had Mai to lend some light into this darkness called life.  
  
What did they know of being lonely?  
  
~When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years  
  
But you still have all of me~  
  
Not that Yami hadn't tried to pull himself together. He told himself over and over again that Yugi was gone and nothing would ever bring him back. The boy was beyond a miracle! Yet, what effect does reality have on the emotions of the heart?  
  
But, as Yami lay there in the dark night, he felt a tiny bit of peace enter him as well as a wave of sorrow. No matter what the spirit did, Yugi would be in his heart always and foremost. As long as Yami remembered the legacy that Yugi left behind, some of the pain in his heart would ebb away. But now Yami knew the truth. Before he had met Yugi and now that he was about to lose him, it hit him like a hard slap.  
  
He had been alone all of his life.  
  
'Oh Yugi,' Yami thought, as tears stained his once proud cheeks. 'If only you could see how much we need you. How much I need you.'  
  
~ I've tried to tell myself that you're gone  
  
And though you're still with me  
  
I've been alone all along~  
  
*"Yami."*  
  
Yami's eyes fluttered open. His back ached from his position and he stretched to relieve the tension. When had he gone to sleep?  
  
*"Yami."*  
  
Now Yami was awake. There was someone in here with him. And that voice sounded familiar. Yet, somehow as though it came from something alive either. Snapping around, Yami quickly blinked from the soft glow of light that hit his eyes and shock froze the rest of his body.  
  
For standing before him, glowing in bright moonlight, was Yugi.  
  
Yet, this Yugi seemed different. At first, Yami thought that the boy had grown older, but that wasn't it. Perhaps, youth had claimed him? No, that wasn't it either. Then Yami knew. This Yugi before him was ageless.  
  
"Yugi," he whispered, hoping against hope that his sanity had not left him and this was merely a trick of a desperate mind.  
  
Yugi smiled softly and his eyes looked sad as he nodded.  
  
Eyes wide, Yami took in the figure that stood before him. It took awhile before Yami noticed that he could see right through the boy! Terrified, Yami gasped.  
  
"Does this mean you're-" Yami cried.  
  
Putting his hand up, Yugi interrupted him. Yami made no objections. The angle (for surely that was what Yugi was now if he had ever been) shook his head, with the same sadness, and stared into the eyes of his dearest friend, "No, Yami. I am not dead."  
  
Yami furrowed his brow in puzzlement, "But, then how?"  
  
Again, the sad smile. "Yami," Yugi whispered sadly. "Why did you forget me?"  
  
After all this, Yami had been sure he could not be surprised but this made him jolt. "Forgotten you?" he gasped. "No! How could I ever forget you?"  
  
"But you did."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"When I called for you, your fear held you back. I needed you. To guide me back to life. So I called to you. Yet, you did not come."  
  
Yugi's eyes held such a confused expression that it made Yami's heart break.  
  
"I'm sorry," he sobbed. "I didn't know! But now that you've appeared to me like this, does this mean that I'm too late?"  
  
" I told you, Yami, I'm not dead. But I will be if you do not help me."  
  
The angle then looked at Yami with such a longing, shy, and naïveté that Yami almost thought that Yugi was once again standing before him, asking him for help.  
  
"Will you help me?"  
  
The spirit smiled, as he always had when Yugi had shyly asked fore the spirit' help.  
  
"Of course, aibou."  
  
Yugi beamed and held out his hand. A while ago, Yami would've hesitated. But this was different and hope once more coursed through his veins. With a trusting look, he took Yugi's hand. Light engulfed them and what happened afterwards remains the night's secret.  
  
~ When you'd cry I'd wipe away all of your tears  
  
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears  
  
And I've held your hand through all of these years~  
  
*~ A few days later...~*  
  
Yami slept, peacefully, on the bed. The spirit was unaware of the shadow that crept up on him. Unaware that is, until-  
  
"Yaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!"  
  
Yami's eyes flashed open and his ribs throbbed as a smaller copy of himself pounced on him. "Oof!" Yami cried, as he felt the child hug his back. "Ow, not so hard Yugi!"  
  
Yugi laughed, "You're just a part pooper, Yami! You don't know how to have fun!"  
  
Hearing this, Yami gave a sly grin. "Oh really," he whispered, as he slowly raised his hands up. Quick as a flash, he grabbed Yugi, pulled himself on top of the protesting child, and instantly began tickling the sensitive ribs.  
  
Yugi, screaming with laughter and tears running down his cheeks, shouted in protest, but none of it was understandable for every word was cut off with a shriek of laughter as Yami tickled the boy into submission.  
  
Wrapping his small legs around Yami's waist, Yugi, surprisingly, managed to knock Yami to the side. Finding mercy, Yugi pounced once more to Yami, wrapping the taller boy in a loving hug.  
  
Laughing, Yami hugged the child back.  
  
They stayed that way for awhile, each content in the presence of the other.  
  
"Yami," Yugi whispered, nestling into the spirit's warmth. He felt himself growing sleepy.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
"Don't ever leave me."  
  
"Never aibou."  
  
~But you still have all of me~  
  
"Never."  
  
*Fin  
  
Tenshi: Okay, I know that wasn't my best work, but I still hope you liked it! Please tell me what you think! Until next time, C'ya! ^_^ 


End file.
